


An A is Just a V Upside Down

by MagicQuill42



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: familial LAMP - Freeform, past angst, there's a kitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicQuill42/pseuds/MagicQuill42
Summary: Anxiety was a ruthless, mean, horrible person....Virgil is not.Virgil crafted an entirely new persona in order to keep the others from hating him directly. But now that the band-aid is ripped off, the others can get to know the real him.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton
Comments: 5
Kudos: 150





	An A is Just a V Upside Down

“MynameisVirgil!” Anxiety shouted. “Whew, okay, it’s just like a band-aid, you gotta rip it off.”

He looked around anxiously, as if awaiting their judgment.

Logan cocked his head to one side. “Vir-gil?”

Patton’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh, but that doesn’t end with an ‘a-n’ or an ‘o-n,’ shouldn’t it be something like… Virgin?”

Roman couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing at that. Not at Anxiety’s name, never. Even he wouldn’t stoop so low as that. But Patton’s unintentional joke was-

Thomas glared at him, effectively shutting him up. “Why’s that so funny?”

“Um,” Roman stammered. “Because um… it’s not.”

“I think it is an awesome name.” Thomas said.

“It’s not what I expected,” Logan admitted. “But I do like it.”

“It’s different,” said Patton. “But I like that it’s different!”

“It was… unexpected,” Roman said. “But… it took a lot to trust us with that information. Virgil.”

Virgil grunted, clearly smothering a smile.

“You can call me Virge.” He said.

After the video wrapped up, they all sunk back into the mindscape. As soon as Virgil was with them Patton wasted no time in throwing his arms around him and practically vibrating.

“VirgilVirgilVirgil!” Patton sang. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like to be hugged but I can’t help it! I’m just so happy!”

Virgil awkwardly put his arm around Patton. “No, uh… this is okay. It’s nice.”

“Really?” Patton said, pulling away enough to look Virgil in the eye. “I thought you said hated being touched?”

Virgil’s cheeked flushed and he looked away. “I said a lot of things. Most of it was just an act to make sure you guys listened. I figured it was easier to pretend to be a villain and be scary than to be a good guy and be scared. Virgil and Anxiety are kinda different people.”

Patton’s eyes shone and he hugged Virgil tighter. “Well, you don’t have to be Anxiety anymore, okay? I want to get to know Virgil, my dark strange son.”

“M’kay.” Virgil said.

Roman could clearly see the tears sparkling in his eyes, though, something he’d thought would be as rare as a bad Disney movie. He strode forward, carefully joining in on the hug.

“If I may,” he said. “I would be very interested in getting to know the real you. Might I say, though, you are a fantastic actor. Had us all fooled into thinking you were this big dark storm cloud when really you’re a little ray of sunshine!”

Virgil scowled up at him. “Am not.”

“Are too!” Roman said. “I mean just look at that face. It’s hard to stay mad at it, and- oh my gosh.”

“What?” Patton asked.

“Are those freckles?” Roman squealed. “They are! Oh my- Virgil you have been holding out big time!”

Virgil squirmed out of their grasp. “Okay, yep. Name’s Virgil, I have freckles. That’s enough of honesty hour for one day. Can I go back to my room?”

Roman frowned, but Patton nodded.

“Sure thing kiddo,” he said. “We can get to know the real you some other time.”

Virgil nodded his gratitude and sunk out to his room.

***

When he finally emerged again Patton suggested a game of twenty questions. Roman had protested, since he had a great deal many more questions. Virgil had been on his side up until that revelation, after which he quickly agreed to the limit of twenty.

“So,” Patton said, tugging the rest of them onto the couch. “Let’s start with the basics. Logan can you keep track so we don’t lose count?”

Logan looked up from his notebook and his cheeks dusted with pink.

“That had already been my plan,” He said.

Patton nodded happily before giving his attention back to Virgil.

“Okay, so, first question,” He said. “What’s your actual favorite color?”

Virgil considered before answering. “Well, I do like black, but not as much as it looks like. Honestly my favorite color is that one shade of purple and blue that the night sky is made of. Where it’s so dark it looks black.”

“That sounds beautiful.” Roman sighed.

Virgil smothered a smile and curled into Patton’s side. Patton put his arms around him gently. Eyeing the two of them, Roman draped himself across Logan’s lap. For his part, Logan barely reacted beyond raising his notebook to allow the prince more headspace. Roman was about to be disappointed when one of Logan’s hands ruffled his hair before returning to his notebook.

Roman sighed happily at the acknowledgement and turned his head so he could see Virgil again.

“My turn, Kanga-blue,” He said. “Judging by your wonton physical contact right now I’m guessing you aren’t as touch-repulsed as you let us think. But I’d still like to verbally confirm you like it so there’s no misunderstandings later.”

Virgil shrugged. “I like it okay. A lot of being Anxiety was about being seen as a villain and… well… can you think of a villian who liked snuggles?”

Roman hummed thoughtfully. “Fair enough.”

Patton squeezed Virgil tighter. “You aren’t a villain, Virgil. You’re my dark, little, misunderstood son and I love you.”

“Kay,” Virgil choked out. “Message received and understood. Need air, Dad.”

“Oops, sorry!” Patton loosened his grip.

Logan finally looked up from his notebook. “I commend you on your astute question, Roman. I believe it is my turn now, yes?”

Roman groaned. “Yes, Visa Cad. Your go.”

“Excellent,” Logan said, ignoring Roman’s witty nickname. “Virgil I have noticed you seem quite malnourished, despite the fact that Patton tends to make an overabundance of food, and often goes out of his way to include foods he believes are your favorite. Reflecting on this it came to my attention that we rarely, if ever, see you eat the foods in question, and when we do, you seem to hesitate before completing it. The conclusion I have drawn, then is that these are not foods you enjoy. Much like Roman, I would appreciate your confirmation, as well as a list of nourishment you do enjoy consuming.”

Virgil blinked, likely trying to translate the fast-paced nerd speak so he could actually answer.

“Uh… I think that’s two questions, Lo.” He said. “But yeah, bitter foods kinda make me sick. Again, though, I couldn’t really think of a villain that likes savory foods and still fits the stereotypes, so I pretended they were my favorites. Means I don’t get to eat as much, but I’m careful not to starve myself.

“Plus, I really don’t like people watching me eat.” Virgil continued. “I know that it’s, like, normal, but having other people there makes it feel gross and shoots my appetite in the gut.”

Patton made a whimpering sound and snuggled himself closer to Virgil. Virgil cautiously reached out a hand and patted his arm in an awkward attempt to soothe him.

“So what foods do you like?” Roman asked, reiterating Logan’s question.

Virgil shrugged. “Soup, mostly. I know it’s kinda weird but I just like the homemade feeling and the way the taste clings to your mouth.”

“That’s not weird!” Patton protested. “I think it’s sweet. I’ll have to make soup more often. Do you have a favorite?”

Virgil shrugged again. “Not really. I haven’t had a lot of chance to experiment.”

Patton hugged him again and Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Does that count as a question?” Roman asked Logan. “Is it my turn again?”

Logan flipped the page and skimmed it for a second.

“Yes, I believe so.” He said. “Although I may have to ‘skip’ a turn to make up for asking two.”

Roman nodded. “So, Angelina Jo-Lame, are you really as dark and foreboding as you pretended to be or was it all an act?”

“An act, mostly,” Virgil said. “I mean, kinda. A lot of it was true, but mostly… mostly I was just scared. When we were kids no one would listen when I was scared. One day I just… snapped. I started yelling at Deceit as loud as I could and he listened. No one cared when I was scared but they cared when I was scary so… I started being scary.”

Patton whimpered again and Virgil huffed.

“Pat, I appreciate the sentiment, I really do.” He said. “But if you’re gonna cry everytime I reveal more of my ‘tragic backstory’ we’re gonna have to stop and do something else. I… I’m trying to be honest here, but I don’t want you guys crying over me.”

Patton sniffled, but nodded anyway. “I’ll try kiddo. I just want you to know you didn’t deserve any of that. You never did. You… you deserve to feel happy.”

Virgil grunted in response, but Roman saw him snuggle impossibly closer to Patton.

“Your turn, Pat.”

“Oh! Right,” Patton thought for a moment. “Um, what’s your favorite animal?”

Virgil considered the question. “Well I guess I like cats the most. But my favorite animal is my pet shadow, Kitten.”

Patton’s eyes grew wide. “You have a kitten?”

“No, I have a shadow named Kitten,” Virgil paused. “Well, I guess she’s more like… an insecurity that just kinda stuck around after a while. She’s pretty harmless though as long as I feed her and don’t feed into her, you know?”

“All I heard was kitten.” Patton said. “Can I see her? Pretty, pretty please?”

Virgil shrugged. “Alright, but please keep in mind that she isn’t actually a cat. Kitten is just her name.”

Virgil led them to his room and spent a few minutes cooing under his bed. The others watched from the doorway, too scared of repeating their last adventure in Virgil’s room. Before long, Virgil emerged again, cradling a small, almost transparent, black blob in the vague shape of a small animal. Patton let out a high pitched squeal and shuffled closer.

“Can I pet her?” He asked softly.

“Sure,” Virgil said. “Just stay away from her mouth. She bites.”

Patton tentatively set his hand in the middle of the blob and stroked carefully. Roman could understand the caution, as it was hard to tell which end was the head and thus even harder to tell where the teeth were.

Virgil chuckled gently, and Kitten bounced with his chest. She raised part of her body, which seemed to be her head, based on the way she cocked it, raising two pointed ears. And the way a half dozen eyes opened on it. They were blank white and emitted a soft glow.

It made the hairs on Roman’s neck stand up but Patton merly cooed softly.

“Aw,” He said. “She’s so pretty.”

“Eh, I like her.” Virgil said.

“How did she come into your possession?” Logan asked. “Most figments remain located in the imagination, if I recall correctly. At least all the ones I am familiar with.”

“Well insecurities aren’t really figments,” Virgil explained. “Honestly they’re more like us than any part of the imagination. Personifications of fears, you know? Only they aren’t really… yeah. Anyway, they’re just little shadow beasties that cling around my room. Most of ‘em I fight off but Kitten here is pretty much harmless, and she’s friendly to boot, so I let her stick around.”

Logan frowned. “I hardly think there is such thing as a harmless insecurity.”

“Well, less harmless, more easily dismissable,” Virgil admitted. “Kitten was born out of Thomas’ lingering fear that his friends will leave him for one reason or another. So when she gets too big I try to have Thomas call someone about something. Or I make him break something so that he needs someone else’s help. Stuff like that. It’s hard to get rid of an insecurity, but Kitten here tends to be manageable.”

“What do you mean by her getting too big?” Roman asked.

“Insecurities get bigger the more you feed into them,” Virgil said. “Like literally bigger. And since they’re pretty much formless they can fill a room pretty easily. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by them, but… yeah anyway.”

“You…” Roman started. “You’ve been fighting giant formless monsters on your own all these years?”

Virgil shrugged distractedly, slowly trying to pry Kitten out of his arms and lower her into Patton’s.

“I mean, yeah.” He said. “It’s not like it’s a big deal though, you fight dragons all the time.”

“Yes but I-” Roman clapped a hand to his forehead. “Virgil I’m a prince! And that is a title I have fought tooth and nail to earn. There’s- there’s proof of that… littered across my skin. Fighting the way I do is incredibly hard. I…”

He trailed off, too many words trying to cram out of his mouth at once.

“What I think Roman is attempting to convey,” Logan said, gently touching his shoulder. “Is that fighting that hard for so long, particularly in secret, is an admirable feat, one that rivals many of his own.

“Virgil,” He continued. “You are incredibly brave.”

Virgil flushed and ducked deeper into his hoodie.

“Oh,” He muttered. “Thanks…”

“Oh, she’s rumbling!” Patton exclaimed. “Is that her purr?”

Virgil quickly took the change of subject and nodded at Patton.

“Yeah, as far as I know she’s not the kind to explode.”

Patton blinked, eyes flying wide.

“E-Explode?”

Virgil nodded absently. “Yeah. A couple of ‘em do that. I’m, like, eighty percent certain Kitten never has, though so it’s okay. Probably.”

Roman swallowed hard and they all stared at the possible time bomb in Patton’s arms. After a few beats of pause Patton just cuddled her closer, the rumbling growing louder.

“Well if this is how we go out,” Patton said. “I can’t think of many better ways than cuddling a cat, surrounded by my fam-ily.”

Logan huffed, but Roman and Virgil snorted.

“She’s not a cat,” Virgil chuckled. “She’s just a shadow-thing.”

“Then why call her Kitten?” Logan asked.

Virgil waved at her. “The ears, I guess? I don’t know we were five when I named her.”

“Virgil Anxiety Sanders,” Patton said slowly. “Do you mean to tell me you have had a furry friend for twenty two years and you never once thought to tell me?”

Virgil shrugged. “It never came up?”

Patton narrowed his eyes. “How dare you. I am a-furr-nded. Wow. Okay, Kitten is my precious daughter now.”

Virgil snorted. “Pat you can’t-”

“She. Is. My. Daughter. Now.” Patton said firmly.

Virgil laughed, and it was a more full laugh than Roman had ever heard from him. It was a rich, clear sound of joy that filled the entire hallway and made a happy smile bubble onto Roman’s face, too.

“Okay, Patton.” Virgil said, still giggling. “Okay. You have to know how to care for her though. Would you like some help with that?”

Patton blinked, and nodded slowly, face still blank from the unexpected and unimpeded laughter.

Patton shook his head quickly. “Right, yeah. What kind of things does she eat?”

Virgil hummed. “Anything, really. She’s lived off my leftovers for about ten years now, so she’s not picky. She always gets excited when I give her pot roast though.”

Logan leaned closer to Roman, cupping a hand over his mouth.

“Further explaining the malnourishment,” He whispered. “If he has been sharing his food with a… shadow in order to keep it tame than he is likely not getting the proper proportions of food and thusly is not getting the correct amount of nourishment. Perhaps we could be certain that Kitten gets her own, separate meals so that Virgil no longer feels the need to share with her and take from his own portions?”

Roman nodded and whispered back. “Make sure you tell him it’s for Kitten, though, without mentioning his weight. I don’t want him thinking we’re fattening him up like the Gingerbread Witch or something. You know how his mind jumps.”

Logan nodded back. Patton squealed again, drawing their attention back to the others.

Kitten had once again relocated, this time on top of Virgil’s head. She was using three of her eight appendenges to flatten his hair down, most of it going into his face.

Virgil cast a half annoyed, half fond look towards the top of his head as Kitten shrank minisculy and lay down. She let out a small yawn, revealing more pure, white, gleaming teeth than should naturally have fit in a mouth that small. She curled up, comfortably nested in Virgil’s hair.

Patton let out a noise that was somewhere between a coo, a squeal, and a whine.

“That is undeniably adorable,” said Logan.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more precious!” said Roman.

Virgil scowled. “Yup, she’s not moving anytime soon.”

A small growl echoed through the hallway and Virgil flushed.

“Um…” he stammered. “That was Kitten.”

Patton giggled and clapped his hands together. “Well, who’s hungry? I was thinking of making Pot-eight-os soup tonight, how does that sound?”

Virgil shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t have to-”

“Oh, Patton!” Roman exclaimed, purposely cutting of whatever self-deprecating nonsense Virgil had been about to say. “Tell him how eight-os soup is different than normal potato soup!”

“No,” Virgil tried again. “Guys you really-”

“Well,” Patton said, starting towards the kitchen. “It’s named after this horse Logan found on Wikipedia.”

“Yes, the horse was originally named Potatoes,” Logan said. “However after a misunderstanding the name Pot with eight os was written on his feeding bucket. Luckily the horse’s caretaker thought it was a hilarious mistake and renamed the horse, though it was still pronounced the same way.”

“Yup!” Said Patton. “And Pot-eight-os soup isn’t too different. It’s potato soup, but I use eight potatoes and twice as much milk.”

Virgil blinked. “Eight? Is that a lot?”

“Can be.” Roman said. “But we’re a fam-ily of four- er- five now so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

“Speaking of five, how much does Kitten generally consume?” Logan asked. “I would assume as much as an average housecat, but given what little information I have to go on I would prefer to be told than guess.”

“Uh, she doesn’t really have a limit, I guess,” Virgil stammered. “I mean she just kinda eats off my plate or whatever I give her. She cleaned out my Thanksgiving leftovers, though, if that helps. It only took her, like, a day.”

Logan’s eyes gleamed and he peered up at the new beastie.

“Fascinating,” He breathed. “Tell me, you had a few weeks worth of leftovers, did you not?”

Virgil nodded.

“Excellent, and you say she devoured them within a day. Did she grow at all during this period or directly after?”

“Not really,” Virgil said. “I mean their anatomy kinda works backwards, I guess? Or at least their mataboisism.”

“Metabolism.” Logan corrected.

“Yeah, that,” Virgil shrugged. “I dunno. They can change shape at will, for the most part but the more they get fed the smaller they are. But that’s different from when they’re being fed into, which makes them grow… I guess. Does that make any sense?”

Logan nodded eagerly. “You’re saying there is a disconnect from the food which nourishes them, and giving into the brain functions they are based on. The former likely keeps them tamed and amiable, while the latter caused them to grow wild and out of control, often becoming hostile, correct?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah.”

“Incredible. I wonder-”

Roman yawned dramatically and draped an arm over both their shoulders.

“Ugh, stop being nerds,” He groaned. “It’s like we’re in biology class all over again.”

Logan huffed and adjusted his glasses.

“Very well,” He said. “Although, Virgil, it would be most… beneficial if you and Kitten were to join me later on for further study.”

Virgil chuckled. “Yeah, alright Teach, I’ll do your dumb lab stuff. Just no spitting in tubes, okay?”

Logan nodded. “Of course.”

“Alright, kiddos!” Patton called. “Who’s helping me with dinner?”

Virgil chuckled and walked off to the kitchen, Logan close behind. Roman lingered just outside of it, content to watch as Virgil melted further into their family. There was still a lot about him to relearn, but none of them would be alone while they did.


End file.
